This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
