My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
