I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
