Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
