I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
