I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Randomize
