you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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