I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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