New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
