I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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