You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
