my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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