I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
