My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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