That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
