I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize