we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Houston, we have a squirter
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize