At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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