so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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