You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
