I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
