how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
