guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
