I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
