i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
the liver wants what the liver wants
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
