there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
