He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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