You were right. It hurts to walk today.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
