Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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