It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
