I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I bet he comes in French.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
