She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
