Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
