Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
