i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize