i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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