nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
