I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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