their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
