Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
