Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
