i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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