Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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