I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It's rum buckets o'clock
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
