What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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