why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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