Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
