HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So much rum. So many feels.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
