whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
