yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Actions speak louder than pants.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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