But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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