So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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