You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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