If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
