i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
