she woke up with a sticky ear
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
