When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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