if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
