He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
