Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
