called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
