During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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