i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
