I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
