I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
