She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
