his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
