would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
