PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
