Small penises have feelings too.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
