so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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