yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
