U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
