i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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