I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
