You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
