Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize