grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
