i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize