you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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