The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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